Through the Rain Speckled Windshield

I've seen a lot of interesting things in the parking lot of our local movie theater...teenie boppers lined up for the Jonas Brothers Movie, the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile, multitudes of refillable popcorn buckets...But tonight, I saw the God's promise.

I was in the middle of pouring out my heart to my husband about how 10 years ago at a youth retreat, we had to talk about where we saw ourselves in 10 years. I was telling him that some of it had come true, but there were things that had not yet, which disappointed me. A lot of it has to do with our current circumstances and the constant reminders around us that certain things just cannot be right now. I was really heavy hearted. In the middle of my sorrow, my darling said to me, "But those were your plans, not God's plans. He has an even greater plan for you." That hit me square in the mouth. But, I still was struggling with swallowing it all.

As we were pulling out of the parking space, my husband slammed on the breaks and put the car in park and simply said, "Woah," and lifted his eyes to the sky. I picked my gaze up off the floor mat and beheld what he did...a mix of white and dark grey clouds through the rain speckled windshield with a single raindrop trickling down like a stream of tears...and...a rainbow.

All I could say was, "God is such a stinker." He surely was listening to my heartache at that moment. In my mind I was having a wrestling match with Him. I knew He was real and that He cared for me, I just didn't like my circumstances. But then, He reminded me that if His promise to Noah was true, his other promises to the rest of us were absolutely true as well. I could literally see his honesty in the sky. We sat there and watched the rainbow fade, but reminded ourselves that His promises never fade.

He has promised that He will never leave me or forsake me. He has promised that He knows the plans for me- for a hope and a future. He has promised that He will provide all of my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. He has promised that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He has promised that He makes all things beautiful in His time. He has promised that His grace is sufficient for me.

It's not about me. It's about His plans and His story. I GET to be a part of His.story.

Every time the old hymn by Helen H. Lemmel, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus," is sung in church, I remind my husband that I want this played at my funeral. Maybe you'll understand once you read the words...

1. O soul, are you weary and troubled?
   No light in the darkness you see?
   There’s light for a look at the Savior,
   And life more abundant and free!
   • 
     Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
     Look full in His wonderful face,
     And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
     In the light of His glory and grace.
2. Through death into life everlasting
   He passed, and we follow Him there;
   O’er us sin no more hath dominion—
   For more than conquerors we are!
3. His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
   Believe Him, and all will be well:
   Then go to a world that is dying,
   His perfect salvation to tell!

When I saw that rainbow tonight I was looking full into His wonderful face. And the things of earth grew strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

Oh yeah. I actually saw 2 rainbows this evening.

The Unbuckled Shoe

Today is my husband's and my 2nd wedding anniversary. So far, it has been the best one yet. We have had a the most wonderful day together. God gave us an extra special gift wrapped in the bodies of an 80+ year old couple.

We decided to go on a lunch date together to make the day extra special and give ourselves more time with each other. We were sharing sweet memories with each other when all of the sudden my eyes fell on this poor old lady. I'm pretty sure that I was the only person in the restaurant who could see her. She had swung her left foot up to her right knee and was trying so very hard to just connect her Velcro shoe strap to the side of her shoe. Her face was in utter anguish. I've never seen such a painful face for the simple act of buckling a shoe. Her husband was completely helpless and just looked at her with a similar anguish on his face. I told David, "I've got to go help this lady. She needs my help."

So, I ran over there and said, "Mam, let me help you fix your shoe." She mumbled some incoherent words, but seemed appreciative. Her husband gratefully mumbled, "Thank You." I said, "You're very welcome," and returned to our booth.

He kept looking at me and as they were leaving came over to our table to thank me again. He said, "You wouldn't know it, but she was the former Miss Tennessee and she was so beautiful." He told us that she had Parkinson's disease and she had moments when she just wasn't there like when she asked him what his other wife's name was. Then, she had her good moments, like when she told him that she had written him a letter. He said when she told him that, he thought, "Oh, great, it's probably a 'Dear John' letter." Yet, when his eyes gazed upon the words she penned, he read the most beautiful letter he had ever been given.

With that, he shuffled his feeble feet out to his car to come pick up his bride. I pray that my sweet husband and I will always be in love like that. I know we will. I think God was just giving us a little glimpse of what it's like to grow old together with the one we love. Thanks, Lord, for that anniversary gift. It was the best.

True Heroism

Let me start off with a summary quote of John Milton's view of heroism..."True heroism is patience and humility in the face of suffering..."

"...we traveled again to Rwanda, where we stopped at a school for teenagers. Some were orphans who had lost a parent to AIDS or to genocide. As we left the school, we saw a group of teenagers waiting outside to greet us. One had a sign, 'God is Good.' George nodded and said, 'God IS good.' And these teenage children replied, in unison, 'All the time.' To suffer as the have suffered with genocide, disease, and poverty, and to still believe 'God is good. All the time'!" - Laura Bush, Spoken From the Heart...

This just struck me...For years, we have said the same thing from our churches in America, with our own personal struggles. There are some of us who have been through devestating losses and trials who say this in agreement. There are some that face things that are on not so grand a level in perspective to the rest of the world, but they are large challenges on a personal level and they matter to God as well. How amazing that these children who have been through so much more than many of us ever will can still say that God is good all the time. He truly is. And He is receiving glory as they consider their trials pure joy, because they know that the testing of their faith develops perseverance. And perseverance must finish its work so that they may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1)

It's beautiful to hear the testimony of our wonderful God through broken spirits, like Job, saying, "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Job 13:15 Even in our darkest hours, God is still good and has a wonderful plan. His plan is far bigger than ourselves, yet His eye is on the sparrow and even more so, it is on us.

I have many more thoughts on the struggles and blessings of suffering, but these are just a few that I thought I'd share tonight. I am entirely grateful to Mrs. Bush for including this story in her book. I hope that the heroic testimony of these beautiful African Children blesses you as it blesses me. God IS good. All the time.